Lia and I went to college together, and used to stay up late at night talking about our experiences as young women finding our way in the world as professionals, as friends, and as members of the larger society.

We took some women's studies classes together and always tried to figure out how our experiences were being filtered through our gender. When she asked me to help think through this situation, I immediately thought of those conversations and also of many of my own experiences navigating work and family and my responsibilities and relationships to others. I hope framing the decision from the perspective of women's development is helpful to her.

I'm a teacher educator who works in both a university setting and in schools and camps helping educators work together and grow professionally. In conversations with my adult students about their professional choices, personal goals and conflicts inevitability arise. I'm fascinated by how psychological insights and theories can help frame and re-frame these kinds of conversations. Working in education, many of the teachers with whom I work are women, and so the theories of Belenky et. al and Gilligan have particular resonance for me.